Why is it So hard to change?

K celebrated his birthday recently. Hmm..wasn't much of a celebration, it was a week day and we both were getting ready early - him for his official trip and me to school. We had a quick moment when I dropped him at the airport and drove off to my school. The usual jazz station music did not seem interesting, maybe I wasn't in the mood, so the car was quiet. K's sister had recently visited us for a week and we had a good time together, so this newfound silence alerted me to think something and occupy my mind with something other than the noise from the fellow cars in the freeway. It was a fine morning and the view was quite good. Suddenly I realized it was going to be five years since we got married! Which made me realize we, especially I, haven't changed much in the duration. Sure we have changed our houses, works and the neighborhood, we have been visiting different places but I am talking about the person I am inside. I still feel like the young girl who came here after marriage, looked around and thought I am going to adapt and contribute something to this new world of mine while retaining my original srivilliputtur self. I feel like I have not adapted at all. I still yearn for the fresh, known faces  that smile and greet while I put kolam in front of our house. I still yearn for the fresh breath of tropical air from the coconut, naarthangai and lemon trees with the unparalleled view of Srivilliputtur gopuram(temple tower) in the background. I still yearn for the sight of my dad coming home from the temple with the freshly offered milk to God in his hand and my mom wearing a madisar, offering me the most aromatic coffee in the world with her mookkuthi glittering like a shiny star reflecting the soothing morning light. Most of all, I still yearn for the sight of my paati (paternal grandmother) sitting in the marakkattil (wooden cot) or the oonjal (wooden swing) in the front room with the coffee tumbler in her hand and the prabhantham book/ hindu paper on her side. I still yearn for the arrival of my thaatha (maternal grandfather) with the vellaiappam and kesari (snack and sweet) sitting in the oonjal waiting for me to come from school. The list goes on and on......Then I wonder will my children ever be able to enjoy, observe and appreciate these things as I did. Or the least will they able to understand what these meant to me or they will be consumed with the convenient flashy modern life this country is offering and brush off the things I hold close to my heart. K says most of us have filtered memories. Something catches my attention. Construction going on ahead. Hmm..I have to take a detour through another freeway. Maybe I will be better off sticking with the nearby exit and the surface road. It will take another 10-15 minutes. Gotta go early and finish up my homework....

Usili usili

Even the smell of paruppusili invites the cheerful stomach. If you cut out the fat part in it, it is infact a very good source of protein and fiber. I personally love the texture and the wholesome, filling taste when it slides into the mouth. Well,Vazhaipoo(banana flower) paruppusili is one of my favourites. The vazhaipoo and the whole thing rich in protein,fiber,vitamin A,vitamin C screams goodness. It is very good for feminine health too.
Preparing Vazhaipoo requires special skill and consumes quite some time. Oiling our hands, separating the stems, my favourite is to imagine the end product entering my mouth while I am on the process..;))

Almond flavoured Oatmeal raisin cookies

I like the chewy,textured oatmeal cookies than the crispier ones.And i like almonds too .So here's are the cookies with the combination of almond's flavour and oatmeal's texture.Actually cookies use very little or almost no water which makes them not to raise so much and crispy.Using butter makes them very tasty but more crispy.So I added oil(normal vegetable oil).I found the basic recipe on a Oats box in the supermarket.I dont remember the name.I made a few changes to it.They turned out to be real goodies.

2.5 cups of old fashioned oats(slightly toasted)
1 cup of molasses (i ran out of brown sugar
so i substituted with molasses)
1/2 cup of granulated white sugar
(1/4 +3/4) cup of vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon almond flavouring
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
1 cup of finely chopped almonds
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1+1/4 cups of all purpose flour

After two or three attempts I figured this is how to make good cookies out of this recipe:

Toss the oats with 1/4 cup of oil.Keep them aside for 1/2 hour.Toss them again with 1/4 cup of flour so that it coats the oats.Meanwhile,mix the molasses,3/4 cup of vegetable oil,flavourings.Add almonds to it.In a seperate container,mix the remaining flour ,sugar,baking soda,baking powder and salt very well.Mix both the mixtures.Fold the oats well in to that till it forms a round firm dough.
Using a rounded table spoon,scoop the dough into two cookie sheets.6 per sheet,equally shaped will be good i think.Preheat the oven to 350 F.And bake them at 350 F in the top and middle racks for 12 minutes(Change the sheets after 6 minutes).Cool them for a minute and then tranfer to a plate and cool them for 5 minutes.
Hot oatmeal chewies with almond flavour right to your mouth!!

Cafe Gratitude-Review

K and I were sitting there in the couch on a lazy afternoon with a cup of tea watching TV while watching some program referring to this awesome restaurant called Cafe` Gratitude in San Francisco.We didnt listen at first but what caught our attention was it is a raw food vegan restaurant and that they have a good selection of entrees which are all good.
So we both wanted to give it a try since it sounded different.We expected some sort of salads and soups and usual vegan soy stuff....on that day it was raining heavily and we were like 'it better be good'.But turns out that place is really EXCELLENT.We never thought that vegan food can be much more flavourful(we are vegetarians ..still) and the thin is they were all raw.We both adored our desserts.We ordered assorted crackers with olive,hummus and sourcream dips for our appetizer,indian pilaf and sushi rice bowl for main courses,some almond milk as drink,chocolate fudge and layered coconut cream pie for the dessert.
Everything was so good and the dessert was awesome.My Indian friends ,dont limit yourself to the indian restaurants around here and give this place a try if you ever happen to be in bay area.It is a little pricey but it is worth the experience for sure!!

After a long time...

Thanks to my friends for being patient and asking me once in a while about my blog.Itz been almost eight months since my last post...Eventhough I started writing for a few times in the past,i couldn't bring myself to finish it and i still cannot bring myself to accept the fact that my beloved grandmother is no more with us.I can never forget her image during her final days.
Starting with my wonderful trip to Yosemite with my dear husband till the loss of beloved grandma,i encountered almost all the possible emotions.
I was sitting nearby her thinking about the wonderful moments i had with her for i dont know how long and she was laying there without even a trace of movement.A mother of eight children,she was a witty and smart lady with a vibrant knowledge.She was a passionate cook,an elegant crafter and a lovable person.I think Perseverance is what kept her going through the tough times and the sufferings she encountered.She used to tell me cute and short stories for almost everything saying that it never occured to her to share them with her own children when they were young.
She was 63 years older than me and yes we had quite a few disagreements between us and yet we were able to get along very well.I have always considered myself as her favourite grandchild.Once I was explaining to her about how computers work with internet connection and told her that people can see or hear each other across the globe.Some years later when i was discussing a problem with my mom,grandma interfered and suggested me to use the video conferencing through computers...I was literally standing there with my mouth agape in total surprise at that 83 year old lady who came up with a solution within a matter of seconds..From telling me how to maintain a work relationship with my male friends till convincing me to marry K when my other family members were kind of thinking about sending me across the globe,there were numerous occasions i watched her with utter surprise.Being with her i learnt a lot of things..and along with her memories ,those things will always be with me guiding me.
I should share one thing else i will go sick.During her final days,I was helping my mom to clean my grandmother(she is my mom's mother-in-law)and as mom patiently continued cleaning the wounds,i could not tolerate the smell and got out of the room.A minute later when i returned my mother was still working with the same care and affection without even a tiniest reaction in her face.God knows how many times she did this during those days and everytime with the same care and affection.I was so ashamed of myself for being intolerant and i can never forgive myself for that.But I was and am still so proud of my mom for taking care of her in such an endearing manner.She took good care of grandma all those years but the finals days should have required a lot of endurance and patience coupled with passionate affection.I am ashamed to think of myself as her favourite grandchild for my mom was there standing beside her affectionately caring and feeding her while i ran out like nobody.When I heard that grandmother passed away after having her last sip of her meal from my mom,i was overwhelmed with various emotions.This post and the blog is dedicated to my wonderful mother and my great grandma.